


When Life Gives You Dragons...

by KimiMeagan



Category: Dragon Age (Comics), Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age - Various Authors, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: All Magic Comes With a Price, Attempted Kidnapping, Bartenders, Camping, Can Also Be A Saint, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Character Death Fix, Cultural Differences, Cultural References, Cussing, Dorks in Love, Dragon Age Lore, Dragons, Dragonspeak, Drinking to Cope, Elvhen Lore, Epic Friendship, F/M, Fade Demons, Fade Dreams, Fade Shenanigans, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Fear, Fear of Death, Fifth Blight, Fishing, Foul-Mouthed OC, Friends With Benefits, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hawke Family Feels, Hawke Flirts, Hawke being Hawke, Hawke is Bad at Feelings, Heavy Drinking, Hunters & Hunting, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kirkwall (Dragon Age), Language Barrier, Lots of it, Love Letters, Love at First Sight, Lyrium, Lyrium Brands, MGIT Has A Potty Mouth, MGIT is a Bitch, Magic, Magical Accidents, Magical Tattoos, Magisterium (Dragon Age), Male-Female Friendship, Modern Girl in Thedas, Moving Tattoo(s), Multi, Nerdiness, Nobility, Not Very Often Though, One Night Stands, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Purple Hawke, Rating May Change, Romance, Secrets, Servants, She's A Loose Cannon Mostly, Slavery, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, So Very Slow, Sobriety, Suicide Attempt, Survival, Swordfighting, Swordplay, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Talking Animals, Tevinter Imperium, The Breach (Dragon Age), Travel, Warnings May Change, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Wilderness Survival, World Travel, Yoga, at times - Freeform, help her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-09-11 17:18:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8999794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KimiMeagan/pseuds/KimiMeagan
Summary: Shadows of flames danced across her face and the fire reflected in her pale eyes; it was a sight to behold and he found the dark ink along her figure all the more fetching with how it contrasted with the color of her eyes and the shade of her skin and how it seemed to accent each and every curve and ridge of her body - near bare before him."Who are you?" The words were out of his mouth before he could fully think them. She was a thing of beauty and a vision he was sure to never forget. She was something straight out of a story and he wanted to read the rest."Who the fuck wants to know?"Even her voice was perfect.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has been an idea bouncing around in my head for a while and I went ahead and typed out something along the lines of where I was wanting the story to go. PLEASE tell me what you think. Because this little shit of an MGIT is going to be a pain and a half in my ass... but, with what I have in store, it might be worth continuing.
> 
> I'm not sure but just tell me what you think. I should have a few snippets the first few chapters but it may get longer the more my interest in it grows.

The woods were finally beginning to thin and her relief was more than she could properly put into words. The weight that had seemed to push down on her shoulders seemed to lift some once the wilderness began to disappear from before her eyes; the pale green gaze flickering in one direction and then in the other. She could hardly believe what had happened only a few hours ago to even put her in that predicament but she ignored it. She couldn't think about it right then. Every survival thought in her head was telling her to go north – not _towards_ the setting sun or _away_ from it... but kept it on her left; she figured something about that generalization of _the sun setting in the west_ had to be true – and she pushed herself in that direction; glad to be wearing her converse shoes and not her heels.

Of all the times to have been still wearing her work-out gear... this had to be one of the better ones.

And one of the worst all the same – since it was as _**cold as balls**_. Of all the times to be wearing yoga clothes... in a forest with _freezing_ temperatures was not an ideal situation. The whole ordeal was just a big _steaming_ pile of –

“Miss?” Her thoughts scattered to the wind and she lifted her head and refocused. Someone had walked up to her. Thank fuck for another person speaking to her – she was sure she was going to go nuts with all the silence. “Are you... are you alright?”

“No, no I am not,” _Not that any would care overmuch for her answer anyway._ “Can you point me to the nearest police station?” She was going _home_. She was going to _bed_. She was going to pretend the whole day had _never happened_ – even if it was only halfway over.

The woman in question only rose a brow at her, her expression becoming uneasy and she took half a step back. “I'm... afraid I don't know what that is, miss.” She halfway turned her head. “I could... take you to the Chantry if you'd like? Maybe they'd know what you're talking about?” It had only just then hit her just what the woman was wearing.

What kind of _renaissance fair_ fuckery did she just walk into?


	2. Chapter 2

A church. The woman led her to a fucking church. What did she think she was planning on doing? Screaming _'sanctuary'_ and locking herself within its walls? The thought came and went – _the imagery along with it_ – and she watched the woman speak to another – in _marginally_ better styled clothing – before both turned towards her; the first woman to leave and the new woman to step closer.

And smile that _appeasing_ type of smile she had always been given in school by the teachers.  


She was frowning instantly; it was automatic.

“You must be new to our humble village,” The woman began and she could only shift her weight from one foot to the other and cross her arms over her chest – one hip jutting out instinctively at the action. She let her talk with a slight nod to her head in answer to the very rhetorical question. She'll play along; they couldn't keep her here forever, after all. “Well then, welcome to Lothering.” She held out her arms to either side of her as if the action was a grand gesture. “Is there anything you needed help with?”

About time she asked. “I'm trying to get home.” She nearly pat herself on the back for not snapping at the redhead. “Do you have a phone or anything I can use? A car, even, that someone could use to drive me to nearest police station?” Honestly, she deserved an award for being, at least, polite to the woman; even if her patience was thinning and her bones were shaking from every chilling breeze that blew past.

“I...” She – _honest to **God**_ – looked completely confused; as if everything she had just asked was in **Arabic**. “I'm afraid I have no idea what you asking for; but we may be able to help you get home, if that is what you need.”

 _Just play along, Lottie,_ she cooed to herself even as her temper rose; _they are just **really** into character and I have to respect that._ “ **Yes,** ” She nearly spat the word through gritted teeth. “That is _exactly_ what I'm asking for.”

“May I ask where you hail from then? If it's not far, maybe one of the templars here will be able to escort you there themselves.”

“It's Houston,” It was said with an eye-roll. Home of the _NASA Space Center_ and whatnot; she was waiting on a crack about space, honestly she was since _everyone_ did it, until she really looked at her again.

And the blank stare had her finally losing her shit.

_**Houston, they had a problem!** _


	3. Chapter 3

“ _Seriously?_ Are you _seriously_ going to tell me you don't where _**Houston**_ is?” Her frown had quickly turned into a scowl and her patience was lost. “ _Houston, Texas?_ Ring any bells? Home to _NASA's Johnson Space Center_? The _Galleria_? _Sundance Cinema_? _Sam Houston Race Park_ , even?” The blank stare had quickly changed into one of nervousness the more she spoke and she was nearly panting after having ranted.

“Does _any_ of that,” She gritted out. “Sound even _slightly_ familiar?”

The silence between them was brief and tense but felt like forever.

“I'm... afraid not.”

The wordless noise of frustration was more like a roar as she covered her whole face with her hands and ducked her head when she made it. She needed to do something or she was going to end up _**punching**_ the woman – and she doubted it would have gone over well. No telling who all would have come to her aid or what sort of rules these crazies were playing by.

Crazies only because they wouldn't help her get home.

“Come with me,” The redhead was either fearless or unconcerned as she turned and walked back towards the church they had been standing outside of. Others nearby were staring at them both but Lottie was just getting tired.

Tired of them; tired of the situation; tired in general.

Following after her, the red head stopped after passing several pews and ducking over to a... study? Very small library? Storage room? She stopped caring when the answer didn't immediately come to her and refocused on the woman – glad to at least be out of the cold outdoors and inside a somewhat warmer interior.

The candles all around and the torches along the walls were certainly putting out enough heat to fight off the chill that had settled over her.

“Do you see your home on this map then? Maybe that will help,”

She leaned over the table the woman was standing beside and stared. It was a great drawing, really natural and authentic-looking and looked like something she normally would have seen in a museum or some sci-fi movie.

“Great work on the map... but this _isn't_ America and Houston is **not** on it.” They weren't just deep in character... they were crazy. That **_had_** to be it.

“It's a map of Thedas,” The woman was speaking somewhat slowly, as if the speed of the words was supposed to be soothing. As if she _needed_ soothing at that point. Two minutes ago maybe but not just then. “And this,” She pointed at a spot near the bottom. “This is Lothering.”

“ _Yeah._ Not from here, then.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Not from here?”

“Alright, _fine_ ; I'll play along,” She really didn't _want to_ but she didn't see any way around it. “I'll _show_ you,” She pulled her cell phone out of her bag and stared at the screen for a second – she had absolutely no signal and her GPS had _obviously_ gone to shit – before tapping on her gallery. The redhead gasped.

“Magic!”

“ _No,_ ” She dragged the word out, a flat stare accompanying the word. “Technology is completely different.” She scrolled past all the pics she had taken of Ethan – as well as the few selfies she had taken that week for SnapChat – and found the map she had downloaded last Thursday. “This is America.” She pointed to it with the woman slowly creeping closer and hovering at her shoulder. “And _this_ ,” She pinched the screen then moved her fingers apart to zoom in, pointedly ignoring the woman's gasp, and said, “ _This_ is Texas... Houston is right there.”

The silence between them was disrupted by the movements and chatting of the other people in the church but Lottie was just tired and wanted to sit down at that point. She just wanted to go home and sleep for the next twenty-four hours.

Or maybe the next week... it would include no human contact and she was **more** than OK with it at that point.

“Your home is... we don't...” The redhead shook herself and stepped away, looking uneasy once Lottie could see her face. “I've never seen anything like it before. Not the map of your land or even the... _technology_ you use,” She sent her cell a look before turning her gaze back towards her face. “Is... _everyone_ from your home capable of such abilities?”

“It's a cell phone,” The gritted teeth and flat stare were back and a headache at her temples was following them. “People _**literally**_ just go to a store and buy them whenever they want. It's nothing special.” Right. _Crazy._ They were _**all** crazy_. They truly believed that they were from _wherever_ and that America _didn't exist_ and that they didn't know what _cell phones_ were. And **magic**! They believed in magic before anything else! _Why didn't they just call it witchcraft?!_

… Salem Witch Trials suddenly didn't sound like _past_ history here.

“You just... purchase them?”

“Look lady,” She was _so done_ with this conversation. “I'm not going to stand here and tell you all about _America_ and _cell phones_ and what we can buy at _Wal-Mart_. Can you help me get home or not? I'm so sick of this game.”

“Game?”

“Find me someone who can help me,” Lottie's voice turned into a near snarl. “Or _**fuck off**_.”

“I see.” The redhead was back to that appeasing smile – more nervous looking now than before – but turned on her heel and started walking off. “I shall go retrieve the Revered Mother, please wait here a moment.”

 _More_ church-goers... how exciting. She probably should have felt bad but these LARPers were outside their minds if they thought she was just going to go along with whatever they had planned when she was trying to go home.

Shit like this made no sense.


	5. Chapter 5

The next woman to approach her had as much of an idea as to what America or Houston or anything was as the last did. Her reaction to Lottie's cell phone was greater than the last one's but she ignored it all and slumped against a nearby wall while pocketing the device. She would start removing limbs if people started trying to mug her for it. Crude weaponry they might have but she had taken a few classes in self-defense and the like...

_She would **break** a bitch._

“The Revered Mother could not help you?” The redhead was back and Lottie could only watch her through narrowed eyes as she sat on her ankles just in front of her.

“No. She didn't know what the fuck I was talking about either.” She bobbed her head at the words, following Lottie's speech easily. “I have no idea where the Hell I even am...”

Blue-grey eyes watched her calmly, curiously, but Lottie ducked her head and knocked her closed eyes against her knees. The situation made her head hurt and she was just so damn tired. “You are welcome to stay here for as long as you need.” The sister – Lottie was going to guess – said, not reaching out or raising her voice as she spoke. Lottie could barely find it in her to appreciate it. The Revered Mother she spoke to before was constantly reaching out to touch her or calm her or such – _she hated it._

“Not like I have much of a choice in the matter at this point,” She mumbled against her clothed thighs, the fabric doing little the muffle the words or hinder them from being heard. The redhead smiled, obviously pleased with the words...

 _And that was when_ trouble _walked in._

Or what she was going to assume was trouble, it was big and metal and loud and looked like it had a sword and shield on it that were heavy... and the Revered Mother was standing next to it with a tight-lipped frown and her hands clenched together in front of her. Lottie didn't know what was going on but she could already feel herself wanting to break something.

Like someone's nose.

“Sister Leliana,” The Revered Mother spoke. “Step away from her, please.” At least she remembered her manners before tossing Lottie to the wolves. Or wolf, in this case. Or knight... Or whatever the fuck this person was supposed to be.

“What? Why? What is –”

“She is a _mage_ ,” She was cut off sharply and the look sent towards Lottie reminded her of one of her old teachers.

_Fuck her too then._

“Not a mage, lady,” She deadpanned at the older woman as the tin man stepped closer and held out a hand, palm facing her. She stared at it for a moment, all silent around them, then rose a brow at the way everything was still and quiet. “Well? We just going to sit around and stare at each other all day?”

“I detect no magic from her, Mother,” The looming figure finally lowered their hand and took a single step back. “Are you certain you saw her using magic?”

“Yes!”

“I told you already,” Lottie knew what was going on then. “It wasn't magic. It was a complicated piece of machinery that I couldn't replicate or explain for the life of me that is capable of producing vastly complex imagery and sound.” She made sure to sound as uninterested in the matter as possible.

Because she _was_.

_**Extremely.** _

The pause between them all that time was much shorter. “May I see it?”

“No.”

“You are aware that I can have you detained until all your belongings are searched and the so-called _'magic replicating machinery'_ is found.”

“And you are aware that I can have you on the ground, crying in pain, from one hit even with all that crappy armor on.”

She was so sick and tired of all these _goddamn **nerds!**_


	6. Chapter 6

“You may try.” Then the dumbass _charged_ at her.

_**Slowly**_... he moved so damn _slowly_ , the armor he was wearing must have either been real or hindered him enough by its bulk and weight to make him move like _fucking lava_. She was standing by the time he took his first step and lifting her hands by the time he was within reach.

Not of her _hands_ , you understand.

Shifting to the side smoothly, as well as adjusting her stance, Lottie planted one foot firmly before kicking out when the man reached for the hilt of the sword at his hip. She wasn't going to assume it was a wooden sword or one of those crappy replicas people loved to buy and mount on their walls for aesthetic purposes. Her foot made contact with his crotch, her weight partially thrown into it as well as the force she used...

And he fell like a sack of potatoes.

He made a noise that wasn't entirely human, _something she barely kept herself from snorting at_ , and his hands fell to cup the injured area more quickly than he moved before. One of her arms was caught in a vice – the redhead, a short glance over revealed – but she didn't bother fighting her off.

She made her point.

“I did tell you.” She didn't look over at the redhead but instead turned towards the Revered Mother. “I'm not a mage, I don't use magic, and I'm leaving.”

“Wait!”

“ **No.** ” Only then did she jerk her arm out of the Sister's grip and turn to face her. “I'm done. I'm leaving and I'm leaving _now_.” No _'excuse me'_ and no _'thank you'_ was given, her manners be damned, and, after repositioning her rope bag, she made her way back out of the church-like place she had been led into what seemed like hours ago.

It certainly exhausted her like it had been that long.

She weaved around the few people in the pews and walkway and slipped through the doors when someone walked in and the heavy wooden doors were closing. The smells of the outdoors hit her again, freshly wet soil and grass and that weird clean smell she used to only associate with her laundry when it was done in the washing machine...

It was nice until someone walked a little too close to her.

They... _did not_ bathe as regularly as the Sister and Mother did apparently.

A hand discretely went over the lower half of her face – her mouth and nose in particular – and she didn't lift her head until she saw the stone walls the redhead had led her into that surrounded the church when she had first arrived. When she got a better look at the surrounding buildings... she was beginning to believe.

Believe that each and every one of them that believed they lived in some shit place called _Fereldan_ were fucking nuts.

Absolute _loons_.

_**Stupid.** _

There was something wrong with all these people.

“Wait!” Red... honestly. “Please, wait just a moment!”

“What do you want now? To _burn me at the stake_ next? Or toss me in the river for a _witch's test_?” The Salem Witch Trials were playing through her thoughts and she wasn't liking it.

**Not at all.**

"What?" The redhead questioned before shaking her head. "No. I wished to apologize for the way the Revered Mother has treated you. As well as to ask if you had a place to stay for the night?"

She _literally_ just said she wasn't from around here... what made her think she had a place to stay?

What made her think she was even going to stay in the first place? She was trying to get _home_ , dammit!

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry! I haven't forgotten about that other MGIT stories either!


End file.
